Belinda Jane

Memorykeeper. Mother. Maker

I Want to Remember: Part 4

Life with Jack

 
I want to remember how quickly he has found a place in my heart.
 
I want to remember how all the fears and worries that I had about bringing a new baby into the world and having a little boy melted away the moment I laid my eyes on him.
 
I want to remember those precious days that I had to spend with him in the hospital.
Although I so desperately missed being at home, missed Violet and missed Lee, I am so grateful to have had a few days alone with my baby boy.
 
I want to remember how much my heart swells each time I look at him.
 
I want to remember how his sweet little breath smells.
 
I want to remember his hilarious cry with the high pitched girly squeal.
 
I want to remember how small and sweet and fragile he feels in my arms.
 
I want to remember that he is going to grow so quickly and that I will never again have this time again.
 
I want to remember to take every opportunity to slow down and just BE with him while I can.
 
I want to remember how beautiful it is to see how much Violet loves him and how affectionate she is with him.
 
I want to remember that although things are going to get tough over the next few months and there will be times that I will struggle to cope with caring for this newborn soul, it will all be worth it.
 
I want to remember that although I know I will end up wishing the time away when things are difficult, I need to cherish every precious moment that I have with him that I can.
 
I want to remember to make time for him, that he needs me to hold him and love him as much as possible.
 
I want to remember how happy I am to have him here to complete our family.

I Want To Remember: Part 3

Life with Lee

I want to remember how much I truly love this wonderful man.
 
I want to remember how hard it was to be away from him for the two nights I was in hospital and how happy I was to be in his arms and be sleeping by his side again when I came home.
 
I want to remember how much my heart has swelled watching him become a father again.
 
I want to remember how wonderful he has been with Violet these last few weeks.
 
I want to remember how much he has sacrificed to be here with me, making a family together.
 
I want to remember that I feel stronger and more able to tackle life when he is by my side.
 
I want to remember all of the things that he does around the house and let go of the the things that take him a little longer to get to.
 
I want to remember that although there have been rough patches in our relationship so far, and that there will no doubt be more rough patches to come, my life is infinitely better with him in it. And that working through those rough patches will always be worth it.
 
I want to remember how happy I was when he proposed and how excited I am to be marrying him.
 
I want to remember how much he can make me laugh, and to allow myself to laugh with him more often.
 
I want to remember for us to have fun together. To not always be serious.
 
I want to remember to make time for him.
 
I want to remember to make sure that the things that I say and do show him how special he is to me and how much I value him and everything that he has bought to my life.
 
I want to remember to show him how much I love him and to make sure that he knows that he has my whole heart.

I want to remember: Part 2

Life lessons right now

 

I want to remember to take more photos. More photos in general and more photos that include me.

I want to remember to take time and make time for fun.

I want to remember that this hectic, busy and stressful season I’m in right now isn’t going to last forever. There will come a time when life can slow down and become a little more simple and easy.

I want to remember what it feels like to have a tiny human being moving around inside me.

I want to remember how excited I can get about what I’m studying and how much I’m looking forward to becoming an early childhood educator. I especially want to remember that on the days and weeks it feels like it’s all too much and too hard.

I want to remember rolling over in bed each morning to hug Lee when his alarm goes off, before he gets out of bed.

I want to remember that it’s okay to have unfinished projects.

I want to remember that it’s okay to have a to-do list that is never fully checked off.

I want to remember that it’s okay to have some clutter and to let the housekeeping slip. There are more important things in life that I should be enjoying.

I want to remember that it’s okay to dream. To dream about what the future is going to look like. To dream about family holidays we’re going to take. To dream about how I would spend a large lotto win.

I want to remember what it’s like to spend my evenings with Lee once Violet has gone to bed. Eating dinner together, making lunch, doing dishes, taking a shower and then watching TV. I know that these days are numbered.

I want to remember to make time to spend quality time with Lee. To prioritise our relationship and not always get caught up in the responsibilities of parenting and being adults.

I want to remember to make time for myself and to do things that I enjoy. To not feel guilty about putting myself and my needs first sometimes.

I want to remember how much I love living right near the Swan Valley. And to take advantage of it as often as possible.

I want to remember to make more time for friends and to make an effort to be a better friend.  I suck at it right now.

I want to remember that time spent writing, making and reading is far more productive than time wasted scrolling through social media or online window shopping.

I want to remember to be present in my life. To enjoy all that I have and all that I am able to do.

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